After having a baby people were always generously offering to help. Looking back on it it would have been great if I had actually let them.
Instead, I felt uncomfortable and as though I were putting them out if I suggested something I needed. It would have been better if I would have prepared a way in advance for them to easily see what we could use help with, without feeling guilty. A list that we could direct them to and they could decide if they would like to take part.
After thinking about this I decided to compile a list of my postpartum baby needs. There are some pretty cool baby registry sites out there (Baby List for example) that let you compile items from various stores in one place, but also let you include nonmaterial items, like acts of service or experience type gifts.
So here is what would be on my list. All of these things fit into the categories that Baby List offer. I could also see the list working for people who are going through other difficult transitions in their life…maybe a sudden illness, maybe a death in the family, maybe an aging relative…times when we all could use a little more help.
1. House cleaning gift certificate, either for professional company or the friend or family member themselves. This would have been AMAZING to have as I feel so much better when the house is clean but did not have the time or energy to do it myself.
2. Take out gift cards
3. Meal train coordinator volunteer (an amazing online tool that allows people to sign up to bring a meal on a calendar that everyone can see. This way people do not end up with 10 lasagnas on a Wednesday. We were lucky enough to have one of these coordinated for us by a parent group we belong to after our second child was born and it was amazing. So helpful to not have to worry about cooking dinner during that transition in our life.
4. Baby photography gift certificate or even just the offer to take a couple of family photos. Every mom would love this but not every mom can afford it.
5. Laundry service gift card. Either friend or family member offers to do this or pays to have it taken to a service company.
6. Netflix subscription (for the 17 hours of nursing you will do a day)
7. Books you can read with one hand (for the 17 hours of nursing you will do a day)
8. Amazon Prime Gift Subscription. It is so hard sometimes just to leave the house with one newborn and add multiple children into the mix and it can feel totally exhausting. Amazon prime was amazing the first couple of months after having both of my babies for things like diapers or wipes.
9. Nursing clothing (to make it easier to feed the baby 17 times a day….noticing a pattern here?) I lived in these tank tops, layered with a t-shirt over it the first year for both of my babies.
10. College savings account contribution (529 plan) for baby (because the 10 dollars spent on that tiny baby outfit might serve a newborn better this way.
Make a list and let people know what you need. It takes a village, right? People want to help. Let them. You’ll need it, especially at first while your body is recovering from making a human being and nursing this human being 17 hours a day. Seriously, it’s that much at first, I’m not exaggerating!
