Anika was just shy of three when Jacob was born. I had been a stay at home mom her whole life and she had become accustomed to a significant amount of one on one attention from me. After Jacob’s birth my husband had two weeks off and then it was back to work as usual. The guilt that I felt for no longer being able to give her the same amount of one on one undivided attention was strong and most specifically an issue while nursing or pumping, which in the beginning was frequent. I needed to come up with solutions for everyone’s sake.
Here’s a list of a few things that helped during this time period…
Kids Podcasts
There are some outstanding ones out there for kids, both fiction and non fiction. I searched “podcasts for kids” to find them. A few of our favorites were:
Little stories for tiny people
Busy Bins
I put together a bin of items for Anika to play with independently while Jacob was nursing. She could select three or four toys at a time from that bin that were then rotated to a small basket. This basket only came out when it was time for me to nurse or pump and then were then immediately put away when I was done. This conditioned Anika to become excited for me to be occupied during this time, instead of resentful. She had a fun bin of special toys she could only play with for a limited amount of time to look forward too. The key part about this is she couldn’t have access to these toys all the time. If she had she would have lost interest. Only allowing her to pick three or four toys at a time also helped. She’s the type of kid that the more she has, the less she plays with.
Here are some examples of toys that worked well…
Melissa and Doug Reusable Sticker books
White board with dry erase crayons
Various Dollar tree or Target dollar sections items. Coloring books, crayons, stickers, felt scenes, etc.
Reading
Although this wasn’t the ideal situation, sometimes while nursing Jacob I’d sit on the couch with him tucked in one arm and Anika tucked in the other. I’d have her turn the pages of the book while I read.
Be In Her Space
Sometimes with Anika I would find just sitting on a cushion on the floor in her play room was enough to keep her happy while I nursed or pumped. Something about simply being on her level in the same room was enough for her to feel seen and encouraged her to play independently for a bit.
Special Snack
At least one of Anika’s snack times to line up with a nursing session. I’d make sure it was something I knew she would find delicious and would take some time to get through.
Books on CDs
I purchased a small portable CD player and we’d borrow them from the library.
When all else failed I would incorporate Anika in taking care of Jacob. Jacob and I initially had a challenging time breastfeeding and I needed to pump frequently and give him bottles in addition to nursing. Allowing Anika to give him a bottle was such a treat for her and when I look back on it probably an amazing chance to establish a connection.
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