Our Little Fledgling

This spring a mother robin built her nest in a bush directly in front of our home. The kids could see it through the window of their playroom. After discovering this treasure containing three beautiful blue eggs, checks on the baby birds happened multiple times a day.

We watched mama robin dutifully sit on her eggs day and night, keeping them warm and safe, only leaving for brief periods of time when daddy robin was close by. 

We watched as each egg cracked and out emerged tiny, pink little babies. So ugly and so adorable all at the same time. 

We watched mama robin keep these fragile little newborns safe and warm only leaving to get worms. Mama and daddy together took care of the non stop feeding schedule and expertly worked as a team to keep their babies rapidly growing tummies full. 

We watched as the birds grew bigger and more demanding, more aptly expressing their hunger. Often opening their mouths wide when mama or daddy approached with a worm, aggressively gobbling it up. 

We watched as the pink babies turned into sweet little grey fuzz balls. 

We watched beautiful feathers develop. 

We watched mama continue to stay with her babies but gradually spend less and less time sitting directly on top of them. Giving them the space in the nest they needed to grow. 

At the same time we were all enjoying the miracle of growing baby robins, my own little baby bird was graduating from pre-k and registering for kindergarten. We attended her orientation. She loved her new school and excitedly asked how soon she could go back, so eager and ready for her next adventure. 

I on the other hand was a bit of a mess. This mama bird over here was struggling.

The idea of Anika being away from home all day long made me question whether public school was the best choice for us. Perhaps we should look into private? Maybe homeschool would be better? I agonized over the day I’d have to drop her off (or gasp, put her on a bus) and then not see her again all day long. What if she’s miserable, sad and scared and I won’t be able to hug her and help with it for over six hours?

A few mornings after Anika’s kindergarten orientation we went downstairs and did our routine morning check on the baby robins. We saw that there was only one remaining bird and he was perched on the edge of the nest quietly sitting and waiting. 

I locked eyes with this guy and all the feels happened. My kids excitedly crowded around to watch too. We talked with him, told him we were excited for him. Anika asked why he was sitting there, “did he miss his flight? “I explained it’s probably a little scary when you are first jumping out of the nest. That he is leaving the comfort of what he has known his whole life to venture out into the world. Before we knew it he dived out of the nest and attempted to fly. He fell to the ground then jumped into another nearby bush. We watched him sit there for a bit, then attempt to fly again and fall to the ground. He paused for a minute, walked around, then finally flew beautifully off into the woods onto a high tree branch. 

Anika immediately began crying. She didn’t want him to go. She was sad not to have him with us anymore, scared he would get hurt and wouldn’t be ok. I felt the same. We went inside and googled what happens to a robin fledgling when it first leaves the nest. 

As I read the words written on page I realized this lesson wasn’t just for Anika to learn, but also for me. I explained to her what it said. 

There comes a time that it is no longer safe for the baby bird to stay in the nest. Predators can smell them and parasites develop. In order for the bird to survive they have to leave the nest, so they can grow strong and learn to fly. Mama and daddy in particular at this stage still remain close for a bit guiding them through this new period of their life, since they are at their most vulnerable. They will teach them and help provide food until they are independent enough to do it solo. 
 
Bam. Thanks God. Message received. 

I suddenly realized I wasn’t explaining all this about robin fledglings just for my daughter, it was also for me. This miracle had unfolded in front of me and clearly showed me it’s ok. She’ll be ok. She needs to leave the nest in order to grow, still under the very close watchful eye of her parents of course.

The night the last fledgling left, before I went to bed, I looked through the window at the empty nest and my heart hurt a bit. I have never more fully grasped what it actually means to be a parent then I did in that moment. I already understood that it isn’t just about holding your child, it’s also about letting them go, but this was a whole new understanding of that concept.

My life with my daughter is going to be a series of nests that she hops out of over and over again. Gradually increasing the risk and the separation until that one day when I go to bed and she no longer will be sleeping in her room next to me…and that is good. It’s not a sad thing. It’s a sign she’s developed into a healthy independent adult and it’s the end goal in this whole parenting thing. Whether you are a robin or a human you know you’ve done your job when your baby grows strong enough to leave your nest and go build one of their own. 

This fall our little fledgling will jump from the nest, enter kindergarten and start learning how to fly…and she is so ready. Mama bird has been an amazing role model for me and I hope I can as gracefully handle this transition as she did.