Thanksgiving Our Way 2018

The first few years of being a mom I was so excited to cook Thanksgiving dinner. I wanted to learn how to roast a beautiful turkey, make pumpkin pie with flaky crust and homemade whole berry cranberry sauce.  I spent time googling recipes and watching YouTube videos learning how to do all this because, ” I wanted to be the mom that makes pies from scratch”.

When I told my mom this that first year she said, “You know they sell pies at Hannaford. ” I laughed at her then, but now I get it. 

I often found myself not enjoying myself on Thanksgiving day, just stressed out trying to prepare a big meal while caring for young children. One year I  hosted the meal for a large group of people. My husband dislikes Thanksgiving food and ate leftover pizza. My daughter got so fussy ten minutes into the meal I had to put her down for a nap. At one point I stopped and looked around at the room. It was full of people eating overcooked turkey, burnt made from scratch rolls, hard as a rock cranberry sauce and crunchy stuffing that I had struggled to make while my daughter cried for me because she just wanted me to come play with her. At that point I realized I was done with all of this. I worked so hard to prepare a feast, so Anika could have wonderful memories of a mom that makes pie from scratch, and she was upstairs asleep totally missing it.

This year I decided to do things different. We did what works for us as a family. This means keeping it simple. Just us and one guest, my dad who to quote says, ” I don’t care what we eat, we could just get Chinese”. 

Our Thanksgiving meal looked like this; No turkey, instead a day old rotisserie chicken because turkey is such a pain to cook. Lasagna. Because it makes my husband happy. Baked potatoes, boxed stuffing, jarred cranberry sauce, frozen peas and squash. 

Our plans for a simple Thanksgiving couldn’t have worked out better since a stomach bug also struck our house for the holiday this year. Since our plans didn’t include much it wasn’t a big disappointment that my daughter and husband were both couch bound. We spent the morning snuggling in front of the fireplace drinking coffee and watching the Macy’s Day Parade. Then those of us who were up for it ate our very simple easy to cook meal.

And that was our Thanksgiving. Instead of spending hours in the kitchen cooking alone,  I threw the meal together in 45 minutes and invested the time with my family making memories that fit us at this season in our lives,  doing what works for us, making our own traditions. 

On my journey to simplify my life I’ve learned that decluttering isn’t just about removing stuff. It’s about removing anything from my life that isn’t bringing me joy and adding value. People. Activities. Commitment.  Expectations. Societal norms. If something no longer brings me joy I can stop doing it. Trying to make the perfect pie from scratch was no longer bringing me joy. 

Maybe someday I will make the big giant Thanksgiving dinner again but this year I’m over it. I no longer want to be the mom that makes pies from scratch. I want to be the mom that makes memories with her kids.  This was the first thanksgiving Jacob was aware of what was going on and I believe I was successful at spending it with him and Anika enjoying every moment of it.