The Big Boy Bed

Jacob was waking up consistently between 4:15 AM and 4:30 AM since the time change last fall. We tried many things to delay his wake up time. Our last hope was the spring time change, but if this didn’t reset his internal clock we would try one more thing… take the leap, ditch the crib and switch to the big boy bed. I had the idea to do this in my head for a bit. I don’t know why, since it was counterintuitive to everything I had read about the situation. When I mentioned it to the doctor at Jake’s two year appointment she advised against it, saying it was going to add another difficult variable to the situation. She believed since he had made no attempts to climb out of his crib it probably wasn’t the issue. 

None the less a little voice inside my head told me it was time to make the switch. Knowing my son’s personality I felt he would like the option to have the freedom to get up if he wanted, but since he is a child that for the most part easily falls into routines and order (the kid loves putting away toys and laundry as long as he understand designated spots to put things) that this was the right call. 

So when the time change came and went with no lasting impact on the insanely early time this child was waking, both Jamie and I decided something had to change. With no plans or strategies for how we were going to do it at 10 minutes before bedtime we swapped Jacob’s crib over to the toddler bed. We already had an “ok to wake clock” that lights up when it’s time to get up. We explained the clock, how he would stay in his bed and sleep and when it glowed he could get up and come see us. He seemed to understand how it worked and was cool with the plan. 

From the second we let Jake try out his new sleeping arrangements he couldn’t have been happier.  He blissfully hoped in and out of the bed and was in heaven with this newly discovered freedom. He also repeatedly said “Just like Anika”. Then bedtime arrived. I read to him, snuggled him in his new little big boy bed, surrounded him with stuffed animals kissed him goodnight, closed the door and braced myself for a sleepless night. 

But to my amazement I slept. We all did. Jake didn’t leave his bed. He slept until his clock glowed and then ran in happily screaming, “My clock is glowing!!!!!” This was the first time I can remember in a long time that he didn’t wake up crying. 

Fast forward a couple of months and things are still going great. Jacob’s sleeping better now. Anika’s sleeping better now. Jamie and I are sleeping better now and I’m so glad we took the leap. 

I guess the point of all this is sometimes we can drive ourselves crazy reading books, searching online, listening to podcasts, consulting experts and other parents for the answers to our parenting dilemmas when really we already know them. We just have to listen to our intuition. 

Although I have learned so much from excellent parenting resources I have found online and in no way want to make it seem as though I don’t find value or plan to stop accessing them, I need to be careful when going down that rabbit hole of knowledge on the internet.  Every child is so different and only the parent knows their son or daughter better then anyone else in the world. I’d like to think we innately know what to do to guide them through life’s challenges. 

Raising kids is tough. It’s scary to think of all the mistakes we could make, the ways we could fail them. We want so much to do right by our children and help them be the best they can be. A good chunk of the time, much like lots of things in life, we look for the answers outside of ourselves when everything we already need is right there in us. It’s just being brave enough to believe it.