Kindness from a stranger

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

Theodor Seuss Geisel

Some people come into our lives to stay and some are there for only a brief period of time…maybe even just a few moments…but those few moments can make a lasting impact.

I can easily recall three distinct moments forever embedded in my memory when kindness from a stranger made being a mom easier.

The Librarian

I was in the midst of learning to be a stay at home mom, something that I was excited and blessed to be able to do…but also a big change and change can be hard. I was struggling with a lot of things; lack of sleep, adjusting to being a mom and breastfeeding to name a few. One day I headed to the library to find books on these topics. We walked through the door and Anika immediately started crying. I quickly went to leave and the librarian at the front desk stopped me. She said,

“No, you don’t have to go. We don’t care she’s crying. Babies cry.”

This women must have seen my bloodshot eyes and streaky tear filled face and knew what I was going through. She looked at me and her exact words were,

“It’s so hard at first, isn’t it?” 

I just wanted to hug her. It was exactly what I needed to hear. She talked with me for a bit and took me down to meet the children’s librarian.  Shortly after I began taking Anika to their baby storytime and found a wonderful supportive environment and new friends. I began a path that day to figure out how to be a stay at home mom and stay sane. Had she not taken the moment to stop me I would have not returned and found the resources there.

The Trader Joe’s employee 

Grocery shopping with young kids can be an adventure. The kind of adventures that are super funny stories to tell after, but not always great in the moment.

After a particularly “adventure filled” trip to Trader Joes I was feeling like a total mom failure. The winter had been cold and rough and the three of us had all been sick frequently. Jamie had gotten a promotion and was working long hours. I was spending much of my time parenting solo. There were times each day I felt like I was trudging through the sand with weights strapped to each leg. This disaster of a grocery shopping trip, although not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, was just the cherry on top of a mountain of stress. I was on the verge of tears.

As I quickly tried to grab the remaining items on my list an employee approached us. I thought she was going to ask us to leave but instead she said she overheard we had found the whale? Anyone who goes to Trader Joes with children knows what this means…finding stuffed blue whale = lollipop. The kids each chose one and were happily distracted.

As this kind women walked away she winked at me and said sometimes kids need their lollipops a little bit early. Her moment of kindness and positive spirit gave me a jolt of much needed energy to keep trudging through that sand and made me feel a little bit lighter that day.

The Nurse

Between Anika and Jacob’s births I had a missed miscarriage. In a nutshell what that means is I had a miscarriage but my body didn’t get the memo and wasn’t giving up. Because of this I needed to have a D&C.

Upon coming out of anesthesia my nurse was amazing. Not only to me, going above and beyond by doing things like getting me a pair of scrub pants to wear home instead of jeans, but also to Anika. Due to the timing of everything Anika was at the hospital with Jamie waiting. The nurse made sure Anika found this to be a fun experience, not a scary one. Post procedure she encouraged her to hop up on the hospital bed and snuggle with me as soon as I returned. She got her apple juice and called my husband a “hard ass” (Anika was out of the room and this was mostly for my entertainment) when he wouldn’t let her have a second cup of the diluted juice. She had her sit on my lap and ride with me in the wheelchair on the way out. This woman, although I can’t recall her name, will forever be in my heart.  She helped it heal that day by caring for my daughter and providing sweet memories at a time when it was breaking for the baby I’d never get to meet.

So to sum it up….be kind to all. You never know what you may do to impact a person’s life for the better.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person’s life.

Jane Wagner