“The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home.” Harold B. Lee
The next step in transitioning to life as a stay at home parent is creating some rhythms to your months.
We celebrate everything around here. Being a stay at home parent provides my family with the luxury of having slow days if we choose them. We don’t need to wake up early and rush to get out the door. I don’t have to use my energy dealing with work issues. The flip side is I also don’t get to use my brain for work things. I quickly found this could be a problem. I began to channel the excess brain energy into my new profession as a stay at home parent.
I remind myself one of the benefits of being home with my children is getting to focus my time and energy solely on them. For example, we can celebrate every holiday, nothing fancy or expensive. I know I only have so many years of this, when they are young and eager to share in the joy that each special occasion brings and I try to enjoy these moments while they last.
Celebrating Holidays
Celebrating holidays has a super easy formula in our house, that is made up of books (mostly from the library), simple food, a couple of cheap dollar store decorations and some easy activities.
Seasonal Books
We start with seasonal books. There is something so special about books we save to read during a certain time of the year. We have a few of our own Holiday books that are fun to take out every year, but for the most part I access the library for these. Check them out early for the best selection.
Themed Food
We add in a theme breakfast or lunch. Surprising Anika and Jacob with a simple (emphasis on simple) themed holiday breakfast is one of my favorite things to do. I prepare the night before by putting a tablecloth on our kitchen table that fits the holiday. I’ll blow up balloons in the appropriate color. I’ll make the kids waffles, pancakes, or toast, and using a cookie cutter cut them to an appropriate shape. Sometimes I add themed sprinkles, sometimes food coloring to food. It’s very little extra effort to make the kids big time happy.
Decorations
A themed tablecloth and a few balloons are all you need to make a day festive.
Simple Themed Activities
If your brain is exhausted from singing the wheels on the bus fifteen times in a row and pretending to not be able to find your child who always hides in the exact same freakin hiding spot in hide and seek every time, use that built up energy and create something really cool for your kids and family. Remember how lucky you are that those brain cells are not tied up with work stuff and that you get to use them to create this amazing childhood for your kids. An example of this for me is the Holiday Advent Calendar I do with my kids every year. Each day in the month of December leading up to Christmas the kids pull an activity for us to do together out of a square in a felt calendar.
I’ve also channeled some of that brain power over the years into planning fun birthday parties without spending a ton. One-year Anika wanted a unicorn themed birthday party. I created a search for a unicorn in the woods behind our house. I made unicorn poop (homemade play dough with glitter) and unicorn hair (straw I colored) for the kids to find along the way. At the end of the search they found a box of adorable stuffed unicorns.
Create a Monthly Rhythm
Step 1 Print off a Monthly Calendar Page
A couple of days before the start of the month I’ll go online, find a free calendar page for the month I’m looking for and print it off.
Step 2 Fill in Holidays or Birthdays
Next I find any holidays or birthdays that happen that month. I write them on the calendar for the whole family to see. Holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. I Include them all and come up with a plan on how we are going to celebrate.
Step 3 Make note of anything special that happens that particular month
Next I look to see what special events or family traditions we usually do that particular month. For example, I live in New England and have four very distinct seasons. We love to celebrate them during the month. September is all about apple picking and hayrides for us, while summer we love to look forward to strawberry picking. I will make a note of these things in the calendar, I won’t necessarily pick a day we are going to do them, but I will make a side note that that is something we plan to do at some point that month. I will write things like, first day of fall or first day of spring on the calendar, since we love to talk about the change of seasons.
Step 4 Post it somewhere visible
My kids love seeing what special events are coming up that month. By looking at it in calendar format they are able to visually see how many days until a particular event and they love to count down.
Remember the Magic in the Mundane
Here’s one last thing I’m going to leave you with on this subject of creating rhythms to your life. Sometimes as a stay at home parent the days can get long and real mundane. You can get bored out of your mind. It’s then you need to find the magic in the mundane. See the wonder of every day little things like your children have the power to do. You used to be able to do this, but then we become jaded adults, unable to live in the present moment and it all goes out the window. Put down your phone, step away from Instagram and choose not to immediately respond to that group chat text chain. Look at your child. Really take them in. See if they can teach you how to get this power back, to return to your former self. Observe them and how slow they go on a walk, instead of rushing them along. Remind yourself that the goal is to be on the walk, not to get to the end of it. See how they light up over a rock, a leaf and piece of grass. Share in their joy and try to see it like they do. Watch them dance, hop and gallop down the street completely devoid of ego and worried about how they look doing this. Join in with them and do it too. Feel how good it feels.
Slow down and let them teach you how wonderful life can be when you do. Some of my most favorite moments in parenting thus far were unscripted and naturally occurring. Remember the best moments can come from the everyday mundane stuff.
Create your daily schedules and weekly and monthly rhythms to ground you and give you some direction; however, don’t forget to enjoy the freedom that comes with being a stay at home parent. Enjoy the little simple moments with them. You might find some of your best memories with your kids emerge from these times.
