Curating Your New Work Wardrobe as a Stay at Home Mom

In my former career I adored Fridays. It was jeans and a t-shirt with the school logo day at the school I worked at. No dress clothing required. When I became a stay-at-home parent, everyday was Friday. I didn’t even have to get dressed at all if I didn’t want to. At first it was lovely not having to wake up and put on a dressy outfit, but I quickly learned to be careful with this mentality. It was ok while recovering from childbirth and nursing a newborn nonstop for a couple of weeks postpartum; but after a period of time staying in pajamas all day started to mess with my head. I realized that changing out of work clothes was a trigger for my brain that I was exiting work mode. It gave me a feeling of when the work day started and ended and helped me feel like I had accomplished something that day.

Curating a brand-new work wardrobe that you will wear in your new job position as a stay at home parent is important physically but also psychologically. If you got a new job, one of the things you would think about is, what am I going to wear? What is going to be appropriate for this work environment, make me feel confident in what I’m doing and make me comfortable. What’s going to allow me to perform the functions of my job as effortlessly as possible. Your job as a stay-at-home parent is just as important as any other and you deserve to feel the same way you would should you be working outside the home.

This new uniform could look like wearing jeans and a sweatshirt or leggings and tunic or nice sweatpants and a t-shirt. Or maybe you’d prefer to wear something else. But whatever it is you need to get changed every day. Something to signal your brain we are switching into work mode now. Let’s get stuff done.

As trivial or superficially as the act of curating a new work wardrobe may see, It’s not. This whole process is about mentally helping you transition to a brand-new career. If you stay in pajamas all day, it’s going to mess with your brain. If there is no designation to your days it’s going to mess with your mood. If you are uncomfortable in the things, you are wearing you are not going to perform as well in your new career.

Step 1: Box up your old work clothing

I suggest starting this process by boxing up your old work clothes and getting them out of your closet. The only exception is if your old work clothing will fit the needs of your new life. I have not put my work dress pants on once since I left my school counselor job many years ago. Having them takes up space in my closet and mind makes no sense. If you think you’ll be returning to work at some point in the future, don’t get rid of them, unless you don’t like them much anyway. But for now, get them out of sight. Embrace your new career and let go of the past. Store them somewhere else where you won’t see them every day. If you loved your former career and it was hard to leave, the constant reminder of it in the form of clothing might not be good. Just like when going through a break up, you don’t keep around things that remind you of your ex, you need to tuck this stuff from your past out of the way, at least for a bit.

Step 2: Create a list of clothing that will make up your new work uniform

After you’ve boxed up your old work clothing, I invite you to take a few minutes and read over the job description you’ve created. What types of activities are you going to be doing in your new job? What clothing is going to make it possible for you to easily do these things. These are the pieces you will want in your wardrobe.

If you are looking for some outfit inspiration you can check out Pinterest or Instagram. If you search for stay-at-home parent outfits you will find a ton of different ideas.

Don’t over complicate this. Just grab a piece of paper and a pencil and make a list of some outfit ideas. This will look very different depending on your individual preference, ages of your kids and climate where you live.

This is going to change every few months as your child changes and grows. When my babies were young and I was nursing nonstop I embraced the reality of the situation. I bought a bunch of nursing tank tops and would layer those with comfy short sleeve shirts (because it was summer) with a comfy pair of shorts and I was done. It was easy to pull up my shirt, unclip my nursing tank top and pull it part way down to nurse discreetly and easily with nothing exposed. These were all inexpensive and I had a bunch as they often ended up drenched in breast milk or baby spit up or poop and needed to be changed throughout the day.

As my kids got older and moved into the toddler phase, I was able to phase out the nursing tops, but I definitely stuck to comfortable clothing like leggings and stretchy jeans. I spent a lot of time crawling on the floor, chasing them, picking them. Dresses and skirts wouldn’t work for this. Anything tight and uncomfortable also wouldn’t work. Now that my kids are older my wardrobe looks different once again. I can wear dresses and skirts and find them comfortable. I can even wear white again without fear of an immediate stain from a child.

Step 3: Declutter what you already have

After you’ve done this, the next step is to go through your current wardrobe and see what you already have. This is an opportunity to declutter your clothing and decide what you like and actually want to wear.  You might find you don’t need to buy anything and just want to declutter. It seems counterintuitive but sometimes having less clothing can feel like more, when it’s the stuff you actually want to wear. It becomes front and center instead of buried underneath the stuff that you don’t even like.

I’ve done this clothing decluttering process several times with myself throughout the years. In the past I was the woman with a walk-in closet full to the brim with clothing…all “organized” by color and style, much of it with the tags still on. There were labeled containers to hold accessories I never wore, shoe racks for shoes I never touched, and hooks for purses that were never opened. It looked beautiful and full, until the day it collapsed. Literally…the rack holding it all collapsed and my beautiful, “well organized” wardrobe was in a giant heap on the closet floor. This was the first time I began to think that perhaps I had a problem with excessive amounts of clothing.

Despite my closet being stuffed, I still found myself feeling like I had nothing to wear.  I frequently had the urge to go out shopping for new things, even though I had many items of clothing and accessories that I never ever wore, some still with tags on. 

Fast forward a bit and I had a couple of pregnancies that provided me with the opportunity to experience the pure excitement of starting my wardrobe over from scratch. I loved my maternity clothing. Each piece was carefully selected, as I knew it was only going to be worn for a brief period of time. I had very few items but was happy with everything. It was lovely on laundry day. I’ve learned now that the only way to have less clothing to wash is to have less clothing.

After I finished being pregnant, I knew I wanted that lovely maternity clothing closet feeling to continue into my real life. I started my closet decluttering by focusing on getting rid of the stuff I had never worn and being honest about the stuff that I was never really going to wear. The three-inch heels…come on I’m 5″10 and a stay-at-home mom, where am I going to wear them? The dresses I was saving for special occasions, the trendy tops that I wanted to wear but always felt awkward and uncomfortable when I tried. The purses that I never used and really just “collected” but then felt guilty about getting rid of because they were so expensive. They all got donated or sold. I purged it all until my wardrobe was drastically reduced in size.

I looked at what was left in my closet and knew I needed to switch things up a bit. This clothing was no longer fitting me both literally and figuratively. A lot of what I owned was pre-children. My body was now different, my clothing needs were different. I created a plan for a new work uniform. My mom was kind enough and took me birthday shopping to pay for some of these items. I created a list that I shared with her and she helped me intentionally pick out some new clothing. I got a fresh start and a chance to own minimal clothing, but it was clothing that I loved and actually wore. Owning less forces, me to be deliberate with the things I wear. Much like I did with my maternity clothing, I was selective, minimal and careful with my decisions.

I own much less clothing now and yet it feels like I have so much more. It’s easy to get dressed in the morning when there are fewer options and I know I will like what I put on. My closet doesn’t need any sort of organizational system because fewer items organize themselves. Everything is front and center and easy to see and grab and the clothing that I own feels like this.

It is also the clothing that I put on effortlessly. I don’t have to adjust it all day or worry something is showing that shouldn’t be. It isn’t itchy or tight or uncomfortable. Clothing doesn’t need to be painful. And it allows me to lay on the floor and play with Ninja Turtle figurines or Barbies or snuggle up in the chair and read to my babies. Because that is my priority right now. Not my clothes.

It doesn’t matter what brand it is or how much it costs. If I feel like the above statements about any of my clothing this is how I know whether or not this item deserves my time and energy and a place in my home. Every single item of clothing in my closet should feel this way and if it doesn’t it is not worth taking up space in my closet, life, body, or mind. The goal is to have a closet with only clothing that I love that would allow me to easily get dressed in the morning and be less difficult to maintain.

Step 4: Shop your closet first and make a list of what you still need

Now that you’ve decluttered your clothing of things that obviously aren’t for you to keep anymore and are starting to get an idea of what the right clothing is. I want you to look at your list of clothing and shop your closet first. Pull out the things that you wrote down on your list that would be good for a new work uniform. Take those things out and lay them on your bed. See if you can create outfits with these things and have enough to get you through however many days between laundry cycles you want to go. Now make one more list of the items you need to purchase to fill in any gaps.

Step 5: Purchase clothing needed to fill in the gaps

Don’t feel like you need to rush out and buy a ton of stuff all at once. Since your family is going from two incomes to one, there might not be a lot of extra in the budget for clothing right now. Just be on the lookout and you can add to your wardrobe gradually. Thrift stores are my favorite for this. If I don’t need it immediately, I’m sure to find it eventually for a couple of bucks at a thrift store. Or sometimes I save up overtime and splurge on the perfect item. Either way there is no rush.

The difficult work you do within the walls of your home may no longer come with a paycheck or big awards or promotions, but that’s ok because the value of the service you are providing is unmeasurable by things like money or ego inflating awards. You are now paid in tiny little baby kisses and toddler cuddles and preschoolers who draw pictures labeled “I love you mommy”. If you step back and let all this in it will be enough for you. If you feel put together, even if it’s just in a nice pair of leggings and a clean, mostly stain free shirt it’s going to be a lot easier to do this.