It occurred to me the other day that before having a child I wasted a lot of time. What felt like a challenging or difficult day was really just a walk in the park. I remember people telling me what life was going to be like after becoming a mom but there was no way I could fully grasp or in anyway understand what they were talking about until my daughter arrived.
1. Waiting for pizza is relaxing.
As I sit on a Saturday night waiting to pick up the pizza that I ordered for dinner while my husband is back home taking care of our daughter and son, I realize that this is probably the most relaxing part of my day. I think back to pre baby times when a wait to pick up take out was annoying and frustrating. Now I treasure these moments when I’m able to sit and not worry about the existence of another human being. I’ve also had moments like these waiting at the doctor’s office and the dentist. Two places I occasionally go solo. When these moments happen I find myself devouring the People magazine and hoping that the nurse that just came out isn’t going to call my name just yet. So you messed up my order? Need to make my pizza again? It’s going to be an extra 15 minutes? Don’t worry about it. I’m good.
2. I never go to the bathroom alone.
I can’t remember the last time I went to the bathroom without an audience. If you are pre baby reading this you probably think I’m disgusting. Post baby you are nodding your head along with me going, “uh huh”, “uh huh”!
3. Leaving the house is a major production that requires thorough planning and preparation.
Gone are the days of grabbing my purse and keys and running out the door. I have to pack the diaper bag, change Jacobs diaper, make sure Anika goes to the bathroom, find the kids socks that they previously had on but have since taken off and left somewhere, convince Anika that she wants to go somewhere and that it’s her idea to prevent melt down, let Jacob walk down the stairs by himself and get both of the kids settled in their car seats and now we are ready to go….wait where’s my keys?
4. Fully understanding the feeling of unconditional love.
Probably the biggest change since having children is that I had no clue it was possible to love and care for another human being as much as I do until becoming a mom. I had no idea what it felt liked to be loved by another human being the way my children love me. Nothing describes it or compares. The drive that I have to protect, care for and nurture them is intense. I understand what moms mean when they say they would jump in front of a train for their child. The joy that they brings me on a daily basis is immeasurable…and let’s be honest it comes between moments of frustration and exhaustion, but it is there nonetheless. When my daughter looks at me and tells me she loves me…wow…when I see the excitement in my sons eyes when he learns or accomplishes something new…incredible. I don’t believe I had fully finished my adult development before I had a child. They have changed me for the better in so many ways.
I used to talk to the kids about #4 which is probably why they “if at all possible, don’t leave this life without having children” which is what I always told them. I think that’s the one statement that drives home the unknown impact of it to someone who hasn’t had the experience yet. You realize that in this crazy biological, evolutionary way this is what we’re designed for and destined to do. The result is a fulfilled life that nothing else can accomplish..