Big milestones are happening in our house right now. We gave our crib away and Anika lost her first tooth.
How are we here already? How has this stage come and gone so quickly? It feels like two seconds ago Anika was teething and getting that tiny little baby tooth and a minute ago I was laying an itsy bitsy little Jake all swaddled up to sleep in that crib.
I now see parenthood in the bigger picture. In a way that I was unable to before. Everyone always tells you, “Enjoy, it goes by so fast!” In my complete sleep-deprived hormonal exhausted state I would smile, nod, and say “Yes, yes”, but inside think, “Sure, you slept last night”. But now for the first time, it clicked.
There is a small window of time to be a parent like this. I have been given the gift of being a mom to a tiny human who wants nothing more than my love…well also maybe another snack or a glass of water or for me to open something or…..but you know what I mean.
I may be a mom for life, but not like when the kids are tiny. They want to spend every second with me and are warm and snuggling and compact. I can still carry them around. This is not forever. This stage will end.
But I have the bad habit of idealizing the past. My brain tricks me into forgetting those really difficult moments when my kids were babies and I only remember how adorable and cuddly they were. A few nights ago Jake, who is usually a wonderful sleeper now, was up several times. Several times. I was reminded of how I didn’t sleep much at all for the first five years of being a parent. I don’t miss that.
So now I’m working on passionately doing what I’m doing while I’m doing it. Minimizing how often I’m looking forward to the next thing or back to the previous. I’m learning to enjoy every second of the season of life that I am currently in.
I’m looking forward to this new chapter of parenthood. The one where I sit on the couch with Anika while we read books next to each other, the one where we all ride our bikes, the one where the kids quietly play in the other room and I can have a minute of solitude to feed this introverted mama’s soul. Also, the part where I sleep at night. I’m pretty excited about that one.
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So well said! My girls are now 17 (18 in two weeks!) and 20. I have seen most of all the growing up stages now, and I can say there is beauty in each. And difficulties. And now that I have friends with “out of the nest” children, I see that parenting never ends; it just changes. I think you are SO right though about not missing the wonderful parts of the present by way of too much wishing for the future or romanticizing on the past. We all have today–and it’s certainly a gift.
Thanks for the great content. I enjoy reading your blog–and remembering a little bit about when my girls were the age of your kids now. 😉
Awww, “there is beauty in each. and difficulties” I love that! Thanks for sharing this and taking the time to read my blog.
Thank you for your blog. Living in the present, being present, is something we learn from our children and can take to a lot of our life or at least work on it. It comes full circle. My three adult children are 31, 32 and 34. I want to see them a lot more than they have time for me (remember that). I have a 1 year old grandson. When I am with him, he brings me totally into the present. It is life-giving for me, and because I’m not the “in-charge of his life” person now, I think I am able to explore the smallest things with him for as long as he wants, and recognize the beauty of the ordinary in life, which to him seems extraordinary. We can sit a long time and drop wood chips and leaves down the grate in the playground, or stick them into the small holes on a playground structure and pull them out – do it again, or drop from a bridge into a creek, with me teaching him the words for up and down, pull and push, open and close, fall down, and sailing away on the water.
Thank you for reading it and this beautiful comment. I cannot even begin to imagine how incredible it must be to watch your children’s, children explore and discover the world.